Recently, I had a conversation with friends about the topic of love. Honestly, as someone who has experienced several relationships, I find that love is neither too difficult nor too simple. Today, I want to share some of my insights, hoping to inspire those who are in a relationship or looking to exit singlehood.
Firstly, I believe the most important aspect of a relationship is not to make love the entirety of your life. It might sound counterintuitive, but truly, if you focus all your energy on your partner, not only will you lose yourself, but your partner will also feel immense pressure. For example, I have a friend who used to revolve her life around her boyfriend, which eventually made him feel suffocated, and their feelings gradually faded. Therefore, it's crucial to maintain a certain level of independence in a relationship, with each having their own life and interests. This way, when you are together, you will have more topics to discuss, and the relationship will last longer.
Speaking of longevity, another key point is not to challenge human nature. Human nature is inherently complex, and if you constantly test your partner's limits or are always suspicious, the relationship will inevitably become exhausting. A netizen once commented something that I found particularly insightful: "The worst thing in a relationship is the fear of loss; the more you fear losing, the more likely you are to lose." So, instead of worrying about whether your partner will change their feelings, spend more time improving yourself, making yourself more worthy of love.
Speaking of self-improvement, I think this is particularly important for both men and women. In a relationship, both parties should be mutually attracted, not one chasing after the other. For instance, I have a male friend who used to complain about not being able to find a girlfriend. I suggested he pay more attention to his appearance and conversation skills. He started dressing better and learning some humorous chatting techniques, and soon after, he was no longer single. So, guys, stop complaining about not being able to find a girlfriend; first, see if you have achieved the following: confidence, cleanliness, appropriateness, and generosity. The same goes for women; in a relationship, it's important to understand the value of equal contribution, not just taking. A relationship requires effort from both sides.
Lastly, I want to say that love is actually a process of mutual growth. When two people are together, they should support and encourage each other. Like a friend of mine, after she got together with her boyfriend, both of them became better. She said, "Because of him, I have become a better version of myself." I think this is the most beautiful aspect of love.
In conclusion, there is no fixed formula for love, but there are some principles that can be referenced. I hope my sharing can be helpful to everyone, and I wish everyone can find the right person and have a long-lasting relationship.
