Recently, I came across a news story that left a sour taste in my heart. A girl who was dating a classmate had her private photos taken and shared in a class group chat, where she was mercilessly mocked. Such incidents are not uncommon on campuses, though often we choose to turn a blind eye. Campus romance, which should be the most beautiful memory of youth, has become tarnished due to cyberbullying.
When it comes to campus romance, many feel that a small social circle is a significant issue. I have a friend who barely dated throughout his four years of university, primarily because he felt his social circle was too small. He once complained to me, "My daily routine is just dormitory, classroom, and cafeteria—a three-point line. I only know a handful of people; how am I supposed to find a girlfriend?" His problem is not unique. Many young men face similar challenges: a small social circle, limited acquaintances, and the seemingly distant dream of finding a partner.
So, is it really impossible to find a girlfriend if your social circle is small? Not necessarily. I know a guy whose experience is quite interesting. He was never the type to stand out—average looks, average height, and average grades. But he had a unique hobby: he was a fan of the celebrity Yi Yangqianxi. He joined Yi's fan club, diligently followed his works, and often shared his thoughts in the group. As a result, he got to know many girls who found it rare and precious for a guy to appreciate Yi Yangqianxi. Eventually, he found a girlfriend he liked. This example shows that sometimes, a change in perspective can open up new possibilities.
Introverted individuals often remain passive in social settings, preferring solitude unless necessary. In contrast, extroverts are enthusiastic about organizing and planning various gatherings. If you"re introverted, try to connect with more extroverted individuals who are good at organizing events. Even if your personality remains passive, your chances of finding a partner can significantly increase because these extroverts will frequently organize various gatherings. All you need to do is choose the activities that interest you and participate at the right time.
Take a look at your current circle of friends. Is there an extroverted organizer among them? Tell them to invite you the next time there"s an event with female participants, and you might just get the chance to meet more girls. In reality, many perpetually single men have a very closed mindset towards socializing. These men need to meet more women but are internally resistant to accepting new people. For them, even the simple act of adding a stranger on WeChat is a daunting task.
Their default mindset operates on a "whitelist system": they won't add someone on WeChat unless they deem them worth talking to, and they won't initiate a conversation unless they consider the person worth dating. This whitelist system protects them from negative social interactions but also tightly seals off potential romantic opportunities. If you're such a man, consider switching from a "whitelist system" to a "blacklist system." Meet more age-appropriate women, add them on WeChat, and if their comments or attitudes make you uncomfortable, you can always block them.
In the end, having a small social circle is not an excuse for not being able to find a girlfriend. The key is whether you are making efforts to expand your social circle and meet more women. When you know more women, finding a girlfriend becomes much easier. Like the guy who joined the fan club, he didn't compete in an oversaturated market but chose a niche that few other men ventured into, significantly increasing his efficiency. This is what is known as "disruptive competition."
Finally, I want to say that while campus romance is beautiful, it also requires our effort to maintain and cherish. Cyberbullying should not be an obstacle in our pursuit of happiness. I hope everyone searching for true love on campus can find their own happiness.
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