When they first get to know a girl, they will inevitably be defensive. They may appear cold during the chat and give perfunctory replies. At this time, if you want to quickly remove her guard and get into her heart, you need some cold reading skills.
There may be some people who are unfamiliar with the term cold reading. Let me introduce it to you below:
p>The so-called cold reading means that when you are in contact with an unknown person, you can detect the other person's personality and psychological characteristics from various details such as the other person's clothing, hairstyle, and voice.
The principle it uses in psychology is the Banan effect, that is, if there is a description of personality traits, and this description is vague and tends to be positive, and can be used to describe everyone, then everyone They all think they are describing their own personality.
To put it simply, you can make others feel that you know what they are thinking by saying some ambiguous words. You understand them, and you can arouse the other person's strong interest in you.
Therefore, when chatting with a girl you just met, making reasonable use of cold reading can quickly get you chatting together. So what should be done specifically?
1. Make good use of ambivalence
Human psychology is essentially There are contradictory characteristics. Everyone has two sides, one is the external appearance, and the other is the opposite hidden in the subconscious.
For example, when a very strong person encounters a strong setback, the greater the frustration, the weaker his willpower will be.
What people can see at this time is his strong side, while the vulnerable side is hidden deep in his heart.
And the more obvious the strong side of this person, the stronger the opposite side will be, thus maintaining the overall balance.
Therefore, if we can tell the opposite side of the other person's appearance, or appreciate the opposite side of the other person, we can speak to his heart and build a sense of trust like an old friend.
For example, if you meet a man at a sorority, you can say: "You seem a little cold, but I think that may not be the case in your heart. You should be very enthusiastic towards the more sincere friends around you." ."
If the other person says: "Hehe, yes, I am indeed more enthusiastic about true friends."
At this time, don't show off that you guessed it right, because you have guessed it right. The complacency will have a counterproductive effect and may make the other party more vigilant.
Just imagine if someone guesses your inner thoughts, you will feel uncomfortable for the first time, but when someone comes to me, I feel very uncomfortable. Strong words and deeds will make the other party particularly disgusted.
Therefore, be sure not to reveal a proud expression at this time to avoid damaging the newly established trust.
You can continue the topic with him with a calm smile, because at this time your relationship has become closer and he has initial trust in you. The next topic is to make him interested in you. It’s the stage of exponential sublimation.
Furthermore, you have to remember that when using this technique, you must use more vague words, such as maybe, maybe, like, I feel, I think, should, etc. .
Because words that are too absolute will be inaccurate and make the other party feel repelled.
2. Hold the attitude of "seeing the other person as unique"
German philosopher Leibniz It is said: "There are no two identical leaves in the world."
And this is especially true for people. There can be no two identical people in the world, even twins, they have their differences.
Therefore, you must always have this "only, unique" attitude towards the other person. The sense of surprise brought by this attitude will infect the other person.
Of course, this does not mean that you should regard him as unique in your relationship, but that you should have the attitude of "treating the other person as unique in the world." You must remember that it is attitude.
With this attitude, you can easily develop a surprise stream of consciousness in this attitude. This stream of consciousness will naturally be revealed in your speech and behavior, and it will make the other party feel that you are Only if you understand him, you think he is unique and unique in the world.
In addition, we also need to know that life is a live broadcast, there is no rehearsal, and there is no do-over, so no matter what the situation, we should cherish every moment.
When you understand this, you will listen to the other person with full attention when you are in contact with the other person. You will understand the other person’s salient aspects in more detail and accurately locate his opposite aspects. In this way, the other party's perception index of you feeling like old friends at first sight will be higher.
Of course, cold reading only provides a shortcut for you to build trust with girls. In the end, it is your sincerity and sincerity that can make you and the other party go on.
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