Recently, while chatting with a few close girlfriends about the topic of love, everyone had a lot to share. Some said love is too hard, others found it exhausting, and some thought it was incredibly sweet. Listening to their stories, I suddenly realized that love is actually a subject that requires learning, especially for us women. Today, I want to share some emotional wisdoms and warming techniques I've learned in love, hoping to offer some inspiration.
First and foremost, the most important thing in love is learning to control your emotions. We women are often swayed by our emotions, especially in love, where even a small matter can cause us to lose emotional control. But upon reflection, emotional reactions only complicate matters. As my friend Xiao A said, "After every argument, when I calm down, I realize the problem wasn't that serious; it was just my impulsiveness at the time." Therefore, learning to assess gains and losses objectively is key to better managing a relationship.
Secondly, it's crucial to love oneself. We often abandon our principles for love, even sacrificing without limits. However, this often leads to the other person not valuing you. A friend of mine once gave up her career for her boyfriend, only to have him leave her because she 'had no ambitions.' She later reflected, "One must love oneself before others can love you. If you don't treat yourself well, why should others?" This statement deeply resonated with me.
Next, let's talk about lowering expectations. We women are often captivated by the perfect male leads in dramas, expecting real-life men to be the same. But the reality is, true love is more about simplicity and ordinariness. A friend once almost broke up with her boyfriend for not being romantic enough, only to later realize that true love is about mutual understanding and care.
Not clinging to the past is also important. We often dwell on past relationships, reminiscing about the good times. But often, it's just that we're not doing well now and need an emotional outlet. A friend suffered long after her ex left, only to later realize that the relationship wasn't as wonderful as she had imagined; she was just moved by her own memories.
Enhancing one's value is another crucial aspect of love. Don't fear others coveting something from you, be it money or beauty; these are your assets. The continuation of any relationship requires mutual value provision. A friend once felt uneasy about her boyfriend's 'covetousness,' only to later realize that it was her value that made him cherish her more.
Lastly, don"t take love too seriously. The less you care about him, the more he will pursue you. Focus on yourself; your career and abilities are your real bargaining chips. A friend once lost herself by caring too much about her boyfriend, only to later find that when she was excellent enough, beautiful love naturally followed.
Now, I want to share a few warming techniques. First, don"t always satisfy him; spark a man's desire to conquer. Many women, deeply in love, become overly accommodating, trying to meet every need of their boyfriend. But excessive giving and satisfaction can make a man lose his desire to conquer in love. Therefore, women should learn to balance in love, loving well but occasionally adding a bit of challenge, making the love sweeter.
Secondly, don't ignore his feelings; men also need to be pampered. In love, many women fall into the trap of thinking men should handle everything. But in reality, men, though strong and independent, also have vulnerable moments. When a man is down, he also wants someone to care for and cherish him. So, for a happy relationship, women cannot be too careless.
Finally, don"t control him too tightly; trust and space are important. Most men crave freedom; even in love, they don't like to be too clingy. They believe that giving each other some space is better. Therefore, women should learn to respect a man's personal space. Don't overly interfere in his life and work, nor excessively probe into his past and privacy.
In summary, love is a subject that requires learning, especially for us women. Learning to control emotions, loving oneself, lowering expectations, not clinging to the past, enhancing value, and not taking love too seriously are all emotional wisdoms we need to master in love. Not always satisfying him, not ignoring his feelings, and not controlling him too tightly are warming techniques we need to master in love. I hope these shares offer some inspiration, and let"s grow in love together, finding our own happiness.
