When chatting with girls, the most fearful thing is that the air suddenly becomes quiet, and the topic suddenly disappears while chatting. Not to mention how embarrassing this situation is, so how should you find a topic when chatting with a girl to avoid being cold?
1. Identify the other person’s emotions
Psychology encourages us that if we want to have a good conversation, It is necessary to avoid the other party's "negative emotions" as much as possible.
Everyone has emotions and their own ways of venting them. If her way of venting is, "I talk to you every time I have a bad mood" and she develops a habit, you will establish a relationship. If you create a negative emotional connection, you become her "emotional trash can".
So when a girl sends a message, you first have to feel her emotions, whether she is happy or angry, confused or sad. Only by correctly understanding the other person’s emotions can you respond with appropriate emotions. Respond to emotions.
2. Extract her keywords
Everyone will have something to think about when conveying information. Focus on the “keywords” of expression. In the process of chatting with a girl, find out the few points in her words that she wants to talk about most, and then reply to her based on these keywords.
For example:
Girls sometimes complain to you: "The workload is so heavy today, I am so busy that I have no time to eat, and I have to have a meeting later."
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What are the key words here?
Workload (large)
Eating
Meetings
How to do this Friends who are not proficient in the command will directly choose the above keywords to reply, which is actually not bad:
"What kind of work is there, can I help?"
"Work" No matter how busy you are, you still have to remember to eat. "
"Is there a lot of people in your meeting? Why don't you lie down at the table and take a break? "
But you can correctly understand the other party's emotions (complaints). Friends will directly choose the "non-negative emotion" keyword among the three keywords to respond. Different replies naturally bring different emotional values ??to the other party.
So in this example, the two keywords "workload" and "meeting" obviously bring her The source of negative emotions, and the word "eating" is relatively neutral here. It is recommended to use this to extend the topic.
Of course, if you can provide emotional value, demonstrate survival value, or other positive factors in your response, it will be beneficial to the development of your relationship.
For example, you can tell her: "Yeah, I often can't take care of eating when I'm busy at work, so I usually cook by myself. Otherwise, will I bring you a copy in the future?”
This shows your recognition of the girl’s emotions and quietly demonstrates your ability to cook.
But If you joke with a girl, "That's too bad for you. I'm having lunch and I have nothing to do in the afternoon." It will make the girl feel bad because you failed to understand her emotions and even showed off. The ingredients are there.
Are you thinking about "???" and think it's troublesome to fall in love?
In fact, the above conversation is very common, and no one will be right 24 hours a day. When talking to girls, almost 90% of the time the two of them talk about these very ordinary things.
Precisely because it seems ordinary, it is not ignored by everyone. Therefore, once miscommunication occurs, it will have a profound impact on the relationship between the two people.
3. Provide your keywords
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What I talked about earlier is how to understand the information sent by girls. This link talks about how you should convey information to girls.
We can take the initiative to provide her with some keywords when chatting. Use her reply to determine where her interests are, but there are some precautions when providing keywords. In addition to providing value, we must also prioritize them. If the words have no priority, it is easy for the other party to lose focus and misunderstand.
For example, you want to ask a girl to go to a bar for a drink. In order to describe how delicious his wine is, you would If you say, "His special blend is great, but it has a very strong stamina, one of my friends rolled down the stairs immediately after drinking it."
Then the girl's focus is most likely on "What's going on with this friend of yours?" "How's it going?" above, the bar you mentioned will even be blocked, and I will be afraid of it and worry that I will be as unlucky as your friend.
So, I want to show you accurately and clearly Keywords, please remember: only mention important times, places and people
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