What does emotional intelligence mean?
Emotional intelligence refers to emotional intelligence, which is the wisdom when facing emotions. It is used to measure whether we deal with the emotions of ourselves and others. Appropriateness is a measure of wisdom!
When people are depressed, their hearts will be full of fluctuations, and they need to talk to themselves and feel The nature of the source of emotions, analyze whether the results of emotional fluctuations meet your own needs, and then make a decision whether to digest your emotions by yourself or express your emotions to an appropriate degree and in an appropriate way.
When facing other people’s emotional fluctuations, understand the information, content and purpose of other people’s emotions, understand the nature of the source of other people’s emotions, analyze the impact these emotions may have on yourself, and then decide how to respond. To what extent and in what way do you respond to the other person’s emotions so that the results meet your own needs to the greatest extent!
Emotional intelligence has never been about “the ability to make others feel comfortable”, but rather about an individual’s “ability to perceive other people’s emotions and The ability to express one's emotions reasonably" is the ability to control emotions to achieve goals.
At the moment when emotions emerge, the process from establishing cognition to responding requires extremely high wisdom as support, and wisdom is the prerequisite for determining whether a person has high emotional intelligence.
What are the signs of high emotional intelligence
1. Speak appropriately
Have you noticed? Many conflicts in life often come from one sentence:
Because of a word of complaint, I had a quarrel with my lover until I left angrily;
Because of a word of criticism, I had a quarrel with my colleagues;
Because of a word of joke, I got into a fight with my lover. Friends are silently separated;
I don’t know how many people have almost ended a relationship because of their inappropriate words.
I watched a video:
At a Golden Eagle Festival event, Jia Ling came on stage temporarily to save the scene. The reporter at the scene didn't know where to ask. Most people would definitely feel embarrassed. But she wittily shouted to reporters: "Is there no problem? Am I not so popular now? Don't you have any scandals to ask about?"
She made the whole audience burst into laughter. The words stirred up the atmosphere.
There are always people like this in life who can save the situation in time when they are embarrassed; they can stabilize both parties in a quarrel. This is in line with the proverb: "One word can make people laugh, and one word can make people laugh.
The person who makes people laugh is not how bad his heart is, but his words No matter the occasion, no sense of importance, no sense of propriety, no matter whether the other party likes to hear it or not, he always makes fun of people. , speak what you want to say in a comfortable language.
Some people always fall into a narrow-mindedness and don’t care about anything. They are in their forties and naive at the age of fourteen. ;Although some people are young, they have learned the skills of speaking very early.Cleverness and propriety.
A good talker not only makes people comfortable, but also reveals a person’s intelligence and quality.
May we be able to keep our mouths shut in life and be a person who speaks carefully and appropriately.
2. Know how to give in when doing things
I have read this story:
There is an open space next to the home of Zhang Ying, a bachelor, and adjacent to the Wu family. The Wu family's land use exceeded the boundary, so the family wrote to Zhang Ying to complain.
Zhang Ying replied to the poem: "A piece of paper is only for the wall, so why not let it be three feet tall? The Great Wall is still there today, but Qin Shihuang is nowhere to be seen."
The family received it After writing the letter, he gave in three feet. After the Wu family learned about this, they were very moved and stepped back three feet. This is the famous Liuchi Lane in Tongcheng, Anhui.
If the three-foot-twenty-two-year-old neighbor gets into a fight and never interacts with each other, it will not only hurt the harmony between the neighbors, but also make oneself angry. Therefore, it is wise to know how to give in.
In the minds of some people, giving in means losing immediate interests, being incompetent, and allowing others to bully you.
But there is an ancient saying: "Where the road is narrow, leave one step for people to walk; if the flavor is strong, reduce one third for people to eat. This is the most blissful way to deal with the world."
When dealing with people, Learn to be tolerant, learn to take a step back when dealing with things, and learn to be more tolerant when dealing with others. This is not only wisdom, but also an excellent cultivation.
When looking for mistakes, you should first look for them in yourself. Often, you are not transparent enough, so you are eager to shine brightly.
Only when you know how to give in when doing things and behave well are you worthy of association and worthy of appreciation by others.
3. You can adjust yourself when you are alone
The great writer Zhou Guoping is a person who particularly likes to be alone. He said that he is most at ease when he is alone, talking to himself and thinking about the scenery in front of him, and his thoughts can often overflow.
His works: "Confetti in the Wind", "Fragmented Sentences and Short Chapters", and "Settle Your Heart" are all sudden feelings he wrote down on paper when he was alone. On the chip, it is accumulated to a certain amount and sorted out.
You cannot live without friends, but in human relationships, the most indispensable friend is yourself.
Many people often envy those who are good at sociability, but ignore a person's ability to be alone; if not being sociable is a pity, then not being able to be alone is also a life flaw.
Schopenhauer said: "Solitude is an ability possessed by people with noble spirits."
This is not only a kind of precipitation for a person, but also a spiritual A kind of self-transcendence.
People are afraid of the loneliness of being alone, but they also underestimate the creativity of being alone; they are very helpless when they are alone, but some people will suddenly become enlightened after thinking deeply. When you are alone, you might as well calm down and savor it slowly. Your heart needs this quietness and repair.
Don’t be excited by the hustle and bustle outside, and won’t be bored by being alone. Only in this way can you understand yourself better, face life more calmly and firmly, and be more self-consistent..
4. You have choices when making friends
Someone asked on Zhihu: "My family always interferes with my time with XX. Is it so important who I play with?"
A very wise answer, he said: When you play with people who have different views, all you talk about is comparison; when you are with like-minded people, you meet at the top.
"Birds of a feather flock together, and people flock together." The kind of people you play with not only affects a person's ambitions, but also affects his state of life.
There is such a motto in "Cai Gen Tan": "You should not be harsh in employing people, otherwise those who want to work for you will stay away from you; you should have choices in making friends, otherwise you will only be dealing with people who are flattering."
Some friends not only consume your energy, but also lower your grade and quality;
But some friends can guide you when you are confused; be kind when you are proud. Remind you; give you warmth when you feel wronged; with him, you can always understand many principles of life.
In life, many people think that "having more friends makes it easier to travel". In fact, apart from eating, drinking and having fun, there are few people worthy of your deep friendship.
A true friend must be someone who has an influence on you, whether it’s how you deal with things or your personality; you must be a thoughtful person, whether you’re making friends or working; you must be a principled person, both internally and externally. Consistent, without showing off any edge.
Actually, it doesn’t matter how many friends you have, the key lies in sincerity. It is a great blessing to meet one or two close friends along the way.
Instead of "making friends", it is better to practice quietly and use your "excellence" to make friends with similar temperaments.
Today, there are many people who have achieved success in the worldly sense, but not many people live a transparent life.
In life, don’t talk about winning or losing in words, don’t fight for gains and losses in doing things, constantly improve yourself and hone yourself, that is, you can understand it thoroughly; in the end, living out the realm is the most open-minded way for a person. posture.
❋ Tags: