Question: I am 11 years older than my girlfriend and have been working in society for several years. She has just graduated from college and we have been together for more than a year. Recently, because my family members are urging me to get married, I also want to get married, so I raised the issue of marriage with my girlfriend, but my girlfriend was firmly opposed. She said that she had just graduated and had to face work and other problems. She did not want to get married so early. If she did get married, there would be greater resistance from her family. She thought about getting married for two years.
I don’t think getting married will affect her work, it just needs to be settled first. And I’m older now, so I really can’t afford to delay, and I don’t know what the situation will be like in two years. We had a fierce quarrel because of this issue, although we never mentioned marriage after we reconciled. But I really can't afford it. I'm very confused now and don't know what to do.
What should I do if my girlfriend doesn’t want to get married?
Answer:
According to your description , in fact, both of you are right, it’s just that your current needs are different, that is, your positions are different.
I watched a drama before that I forgot the name of, Old Husband and Young Wife. On the day of her husband's fiftieth birthday, his wife, who is in her 20s, spent tens of thousands of yuan to give him a luxury watch. She gritted her teeth and spent the huge sum of money, thinking he would be very moved. But he told his old friend that he was in a mid-life crisis, especially after marrying a young and beautiful wife, and he was even more afraid of old age and death. However, she gave him a watch to remind him that time flies. He felt really powerless.
But if her husband is also in his 20s, he will think wow, my wife spent so much money to buy me a watch, I really love her. This is the difference between people, or in other words, the difference between people of different age groups.
Back to this question, the most urgent thing for you right now is to find a suitable woman to get married. After all, you are old enough, your family is urging you, and you should have the financial strength. But what your girlfriend currently needs is to work for a few years after graduation, work hard for a few years, and then settle down before getting married and raising children. If she chooses to marry you now, she will definitely face pressure to have a baby after marriage, which will definitely have an impact on her future work. Even if you promise her not to push her, can you guarantee that your family members won’t push her either? These are all her concerns.
Finally, if you are older and want to get married, but your girlfriend doesn’t want to get married, in fact, neither of you is right if you look at it individually. It's just not a good match, really. And maybe your girlfriend’s family doesn’t want her to find a husband at such an old age, right? That's why she said there would be great resistance from her family. Moreover, the two of you have only been dating for a year. To put it bluntly, this may be the period when your relationship is the strongest and sweetest, but you really don’t see how deep your relationship is. So I advise you to consider it carefully.
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